poetry!!!

i have written 60 poems but i only plan to share my fav poems!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (posting the decent ones first)

poem #56, Unveiled. I learned to focus on my sorrow and desires once all eyes are away I swore no man would get that close to me again I attempt to hide my heart; it's full of hauntology I pray, to never be besotted again Yet here I am, telling a boy everything I tried so hard to hide. I ache for love and soft embrace But, my flesh recoils at his touch I am usually afraid of what pierces my core, yet I cannot run from you.

poem #55,The Valve. Once again, I reside in this desolate room I am holding my breath, praying my heart has not forsaken me My heart pounds on my rib cage Letting society know I am irregular Unlike the others, I cannot enjoy my life This condition has alienated me from the vessel I once called my own The surge of adrenaline brings a sharp ache to my heart Yet the world is blind to my pulsating core Now as I wait for the doctor to say my name I will plead that my heart has not worsen.

poem #54, The Cycle. I knew one day you would hurt me too I knew one day I would feel the same betrayal the others did before me Yet I chose the quiet solace of pretending I hear the melody of your words and we do not sing in the same chord Around you, I feel trepidation Wondering who will become your target of hate today I pray that my words of agreement will satisfy you Yet I know my every step will drive you deeper into madness I watch the clock, knowing the day will come when you despise me too.

poem #53, Heaven. If God truly is real Then, I would love to die But God will never grant this wish of mine Like Judas, I have betrayed my God a thousand times I have betrayed Jesus for far less than 30 silver coins I know that he feels the lancinating pain from this wrist everytime I fail him Yes, I know I have caused him harm For I am damned for all time Even after I die, I will never go beyond the pearly gates Once I see God's grace This is the confession I catch: Depart from me For I never knew you.

poem #52, Death of Music. The passionate notes have faded into oblivion The buzz from the guitar has been killed The beating of the drums is dampening The songs of lamentation have vanished into the dusk Never again will I hear music that truly sees me The melody that matches my heartbeat is gone Now all that is left is the silence of the final rest Now all that is left is the isolating anhedonia The dark empty space filled with melancholia.

poem #51, Perfect poem. I always swore I'd only love music and dead poets Somehow, you have slipped between the lines of my syllabus I was always convinced that love was a gift not intended for me Until your words captured my heart Around you, the storm in my head has came to a halt The whispers in my brain have vanished Now perhaps I see the kind of man God has intended for me Now I have learned, love should not drain the energy out of my soul The thunderous noise in my life has transformed into a calm melody You are the stanza I did not know was missing from my poetry You are the chance I never expected, the line I never thought I needed For I have found the story I want to live.

poem #50, I swear. Upon my heart, I avow it Never to fall into my weak flesh Never falling into sin again Never looking at a goddess again I will never let this knowledge leave my head These sapphic thoughts are not holy If I let them free, hell is where i'll go and burn for all eternity I know this is wrong, but these ideas do not come to a stop I am broken; this is not how i'm supposed to be I pray until my knees are bruised God, I have betrayed you

poem #49, Hate. This is the life I am destined for I am in an eternal state of perdition This is how the Lord made me I am full of poison How did God make something so terrible? So unsavable Cursed beyond the end of time Wretched in this state of mind From birth I was meant to be despised Unlovable and abominated Nothing more than hate Nothing more than the toxins flowing through my veins

poem #48, Months wasted. As the month comes to a stop My love does not end Instead it rapidly grows My desire does not close These months, all I do is wait Wait for the warmth that i'll never face So i'll kneel down and worship the ground you walk on You are a divine saint My heart is set on you Even the cosmos envies you You have bewitched me You have destroyed me How many more months will I put to waste?

poem #47, Biophilic. The shine of the sun beckons me The gust wind is calling my name I experience true limerence for the wilderness Every waking moment I yearn for the outside I bestow in the verdant grass As I admire mother nature My heart feels incomplete without her Leaving her is like asking to die I am rooted in the earth and sky I cannot leave even as the twilight lingers All I feel is ecstasy As my tears descend to the rivulet

poem #46, Cynosure. You are the cynosure of my eyes I cannot put into words the hiraeth I feel for you Nevertheless, I will try my best In hopes you will see all the love I carry for you I am decaying during my wait for you Your glance leaves me in a wistful state Full of agony, all because of my love for you You are my muse I often am consumed by my thoughts of you You are in all of the art I create You are both a sonnet and a elegy I will love you even as I bleed

poem #44, Not the same. I still feel your eyes fall upon mine But I no longer feel joy like I once had I know your gaze is not at all positive I know that you are judging me I can see the disgust flowing in your eyes The words of hate that threaten to leave your mouth Is what I see even the truth? Or is it just my cruel imagination? I cannot help but feel this way When things no longer feel the same But the love in my heart grows day by day The love will not go away The beauty of your face has overcome me The beauty of your face is beyond my wildest dreams After you, I will not look at any boy the same They will simply not compare

poem #43, My mom. Everyday, I feel like i'm in hell I don't feel my mother's love I don't feel my mother's care All I feel is her yell I must have done something terrible I must have done something to deserve this hate I wish to enter eternal rest The bugs eating my brain will love me more than her I am walking on eggshells I do not wish to annoy her for much longer Oh mom, what can I do? Maybe if I was never born She could've had the life she truly yearned for

poem #41, You. I know my love is unrequited But that does not stop my yearning I crave your attention Even though we do not speak, nevermore You are ethereal Your voice is mellifluous You are heaven on earth You will be the one to save me from this hell I see you in my dreams You have taken over my brain Every step I take, you are adjacent Still, you stay out of my reach I cannot escape you But you have escaped from me

poem #40, Alien. As I wander through the loud deafening halls I scan the people around me Their demeanor, the way they speak, the way they walk it seems acting human is easier for them than it is for me I am abstruse I am eccentric I am unnatural I am alienated I find it hard to act human, to act normal I often mimic the ones who are loved, accepted No matter what, I am the outsider I feel like a visitor to this world I must be from another planet An alien, who got lost on the way home Now stranded, alone

poem #36, the cage. As I hear the ambient never ending laughter I am held captive in this cage Away from the world, afraid to make any mistake If I do, their agonizing yells will fill my head Then i'll wonder why I didn't just stay inside my cage instead I yearn for the day i'll be accepted I yearn for the day i'll be seen as human But for now i'll just stay here since I despise any kind of change For this cage is all I have ever known

poem #33, eat the rich. I pray one day there will be a war, a war that will end all suffering. When the news channels pop up on the screen, the whole world will see the poor eating all the selfish, rich billionaires who have wronged them. This is the day that makes sure no man will go hungry, for the rich man's flesh cures their starvation.

poem #29, Time The world keeps spinning no matter what goes on Time does not stop for anyone No matter how much I cry or plead Time does not listen to me And soon my time will come to an end And death will become near to me No longer will I have the time to do everything I once loved No longer will I have the time to do the things I dreamed of Why must time be so cruel? Why can't time be fair? I try to convince him that the end must not be here yet But instead time laughs in my face And now my time has ended Death is now here for me All my dreams are shattered Since time has took them away from me

poem #8, Red. I am covered in red This will reach to the end of time This pain is everlasting All of this crimson blood is the evidence I need The evidence to prove that I am unwell.

poem #1, Void. The void in my chest won't ever leave me, no matter how hard I try I have tried falling in love, putting up a happy facade, or watching the blood drip all the way down These solutions do not last forever Will I ever get rid of the void in my heart? Will there ever be a permanent solution?